


These Eyes Are All I Need

by Austrichh



Category: Naruto
Genre: Adventure, Alternate Universe, F/M, General, Self-Insert, Some Crack
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-22
Updated: 2021-02-24
Packaged: 2021-03-19 04:02:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,710
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29620326
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Austrichh/pseuds/Austrichh
Summary: An AU SI-Sasuke fic that starts after Sasuke kills Orochimaru.I died and ended up a wandering soul. Thanks to the Sage of Six Paths I’m now in the body of Sasuke Uchiha with some benefits. But I find myself in a world different than expected, where rasengans kill and people walk when they shouldn’t. Lucky for me that these eyes will be all I need to survive.Also posted on FanFiction.Net under the same name by me.
Comments: 4
Kudos: 25





	1. Chapter 1

“How can this be. I created this universe. This is my own space!" A pale man shouted in shock and disbelief as he was attacked by his own dark snakes.

"Try all the Jutsu you wish. But my eyes." A young man said but was interrupted.

"No! I will not allow this to happen. This will not happen to me. Especially not here!" Orochimaru screamed in denial.

"You should've known better than to assume that your will could overcome mine, Orochimaru. Now witness your reckoning." Sasuke admonished while standing with the snakes he turned against their master.

'How dare he turn this ritual against me. Damn that brat. Damn him straight to hell! Tsk, it appears I have no other options. Well if I am to die then I'll make sure that I'll drag Sasuke with me. And here I thought this part of the ritual was unnecessary, of course, that was made with Sarutobi-sensei in mind.' Orochimaru thought.

"It seems that the end is nigh. But don't worry, I'm sure you'll have plenty of company in hell. Itachi will be joining you soon enough." Sasuke gloated.

Orochimaru chuckled, a sound that would normally terrify most Jonin and ANBU, but in this instance came out as rasping and weezy.

"Even now you still utter that annoying laugh. Has your madness fallen even further?"

"Well no. It's just that if I'm going to hell then it won't be Itachi that'll be keeping me company." The Sannin taunted now he held the advantage.

"How so? Your world is falling apart at the seams. There is nothing you can do now." The Uchiha asked.

"That's where you are wrong."

Right at the moment where Orochimaru was almost consumed by Sasuke's will did something happen.

The world was disintegrating.

"What did you do!" Sasuke shouted, his calm and assured sense of victory broken by this development.

"All you had to do was simply step aside and let me take your body Sasuke. At least then I would've killed Itachi for you and completed my goals. Now unfortunately because of you none of that is happening. Now we'll both die. Well, temporarily in my case." Orochimaru said relishing in his new found victory.

"If you think I'll let you get away with this then think again!"

"Soon you won't be thinking at all. Once the disintegration effect is complete there will be nothing left of this world. You will either die or be trapped, falling in an abyss for eternity."

"Won't the same happen to you too!"

"Of course not. You aren't the only person with my curse mark. Once I 'die', so to speak, I will awake once again and live on."

"No."

"Kukukuku! No! Kukukuku! I'm sorry Sasuke but denial will do nothing here. Prepare for the end." Orochimaru gloated, enjoying the look of despair on the Uchiha's face.

"I refuse! I REFUSE!"

'Looks like Sasuke can't handle the cold truth. No matter, it's best to savor-What!' This time it was Orochimaru's sense of victory that was shattered.

"Impossible! It can't be!"

Tears of blood now fall from Sasuke's face as his Sharingan morphs into something. That something being the Mangekyou Sharingan.

"If I'm dying then I'm sure as hell not doing so without taking you with me!" As he said this he ran to Orochimaru who was still trapped in the fleshy substance that made up the dying world. "Amaterasu!" Was all the Uchiha exclaimed.

'Amaterasu was Itachi's Jutsu, how can it be that Sasuke has it too!' It was becoming harder to think over the agony of being afflicted both by having his soul being destroyed and the black fire eating at him 'No matter, all this means is that I'll be out of here soon enough.'

'Wait a minute. I can feel the Amaterasu, yes, however, I'm also feeling it distantly somehow.'

"My neck!" A woman with purple hair cried out as a mark on her neck caught on fire.

"WHAT DID YOU DO!" The Snake Sannin's worry turned into panic when could no longer sense his Curse Marks.

"It seems that the hellfire of Amaterasu consumes all, and in here, even the soul."

"H-how… HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE!"

"It's simple. The power of the Uchiha transcends all other, even your very being can not compare to the power of the Mangekyou Sharingan! How fitting that what you have obsessed over be your very downfall.

'No...dammit all. It can't end like this. I was to receive everything…..'

"...don't forget, Mangekyou or no you cannot survive. I'll...be...seeing..you..s-soon Sasuke Uchih…..ha" These were the last words Orochimaru has ever spoken. So erased his soul has been by Amaterasu that he will not even appear in the Pure World, all that awaits the Sannin is oblivion.

'Heh. I finally have the same eyes as you Itachi. But what good is it now that I'll be gone soon. I hate to admit it but my only hope for revenge falls on to you, Naruto. I hope you can forgive me for the pain I left you and Sakura.'

'Uncle, Auntie, Shisui, Mother, Father, I hope that you and the rest of the clan can forgive me for failing to avenge you. But at least I can see you all again.'

With the last thought of Sasuke Uchiha passed, the world where Orochimaru used to steal the souls of countless others has come to an end, along with its final inhabitant.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

What is this place?

Well, it certainly isn't a void. Those things are usually empty, yet here I can see black fire eating on what looks to be the dust of something. With said dust sounding like something out of Infinity War when people started getting dusted.

"Ah, it is good that I finally found you, Planeswalker. We have much to discuss"

Planeswalker? What the hell is he talking about? And just as I was going to ask, the sight of the man's face sent me into shock. How could it not once I came face to face with the strongest being in Naruto. Fuck Naruto and Sasuke. Fuck Kaguya. Fuck Madara. Hell, fuck Itachi too. This was the fucking Sage of the Six Paths here, it's pretty much agreed that the closest thing a series has to a god is typically the most powerful, also one you don't want to anger.

Yes, he is firmly on the light side. However, that doesn't mean I can't get a little nervous about this guy. One wrong move and I can end up stuck wherever here is or worse.

"Judging by that look in your eyes I can tell you're shocked, but not at my appearance like most would. No, what you had was recognition in your eyes."

"There is no need to be afraid Planeswalker, I only wish to speak with you in order to sort out your situation."

"The fact that I'm a soul with no body from another world with knowledge on this one." No use lying to the guy who likely has Naruto's emotion-sensing but on steroids, best to give this guy the truth.

"Well, I didn't know that last one." Oh, damn me and my big mouth. "However I suppose such things are possible considering the countless other worlds there are. But I will have to get back to that later, we still have to talk."

Phew. He isn't angry over that, despite the power he holds it's a real good thing that he's the one dealing with me. Can't say how things would go had Hagoromo been anyone else besides Naruto.

"Ah yes, my soul that recently died of…" And in typical isekai fashion, I forgot how I died. "Unknown causes? Where do we go from there?"

"Well seeing that you are already dead my first thought was to guide you to the Pure World, the afterlife in my world like I do for any other lost soul. Unfortunately, I'm not too sure about how wise that may be."

"Why not?" Do not tell me that I wasn't good enough to get into ninja heaven. Especially not when Obito "Crimes Against Humanity" Uchiha got in. Sure he was manipulated by Madara and Zetsu from a young age but still.

"Do not fret, you would fit the requirements needed to ascend to the Pure World. At least in normal circumstances. But with you being the first Planeswalker I have encountered, I have no idea if it would be safe for your soul to enter the afterlife of a world you have never visited."

"Doesn't this place count. Or at least did?" I mean where else besides his world could this be? However, at that he made a face of disgust and anger that raised major red flags and triggered some evolutionary fear.

"This place is as far as one could get to the natural world, let alone the Pure World. The place you stand in is one which was created for the vile purpose of one to steal the bodies of others by suppressing them with their very soul." There's only one person who could possibly fit that description, definitely not good. "And with your face, you know who was behind this cursed and vile misuse of Ninshu."

Ok then. I'm in the pink and squishy place where Orochimaru stole bodies, most notable being that time he tried to steal Sasuke's body.

That doesn't explain why, actually it does. Black fire can only lead to one of two possibilities, neither of which good. Either Itachi or Sasuke was here. I can only hope beyond hope for the Shinobi World that Orochimaru was not successful in either of those attempts. Or at least he got Itachi and would soon die due to Mangekyou blindness and the case of ninja AIDS killing said body.

"With what you know I can assume that you know what happened here, yes."

"For the most part. However, the Amaterasu is completely unexpected. Did Sasuke somehow unlock his Mangekyou before this mess?"

"Why no. Sasuke awakened his eyes during the events that transpired, in response to hearing that Orochimaru would use the fragments of his soul to escape the destruction of his world that initiated upon Sasuke almost overcoming his Jutsu. He used both of his Mangekyou abilities to burn away all of Orochimaru's soul, so thoroughly that he wouldn't appear in any afterlife. He is gone for good." He finished telling me of the Sannin's fate with a smile.

Good riddance I say. However, this was where his face took a look of sadness. "Unfortunately for Sasuke, he couldn't escape the decaying world. The only way one could leave would be by taking over another, and with Orochimaru ruining any chance of the ritual succeeding for the boy, he had passed away. Where his soul will be waiting for Ashura to die before reincarnating again."

Oh. Oh no no no no. Sasuke's fucking dead. Well, the Shinobi World is screwed. Yes no Orochimaru, but with Naruto's equal gone the world is screwed at the Fourth War unless Itachi survives long enough to help out. Although I doubt that considering the fact that with his main reason for living gone he might as well kill himself, via suicide or a last-ditch attempt of killing Obito.

But why is he telling me this? If I can't go to the Pure World then that can only mean

"You're putting me into Sasuke's body."

"Yes."

"Wouldn't it be better for you to just make me a new body with the Creation of All Things? I mean I would be effectively wearing your son as a meat puppet."

"Yes, I could. However, it would be far better for me and you if you took Sasuke's body. For one I can simply place you in there rather than creating an entire human body, then there is a selfish side of me that would hate to see my son's body be rendered brain dead." Ok then. It seems that those with the Rinnegan are perfectly fine with meat puppets. Nagato with the Six Meat Puppets of Pain, now Hagoromo with his son. It makes me wonder why Sasuke didn't do the same with Itachi. Would he start if Naruto dies?

"As for you, Sasuke Uchiha has connections and gifts that would make your life far easier than if I were to place you as a stranger." Aka being put into the body of the second main character and Kishimoto's favorite.

"Not to mention that it would be a great help in securing the attention of many women." He had with a fucking smirk, a smirk. I'm not even physical and I can still feel my checking heating up! That doesn't mean I'm not discounting what he said though, Sasuke despite his issues was a chick magnet that got plenty of attention.

"But once again my reasoning is quite selfish. I hope that you can finally end the feud between my sons Indra and Ashura, so they can forgive each other and finally move on."

So getting the body of Sasuke Uchiha sounds pretty good, right? I'm strong enough to handle a good chunk of what the world can and will throw at me, wealthy enough to live a good life (Orochimaru's head would net billions in Konoha, he did kill a Hokage after all.), plus it helped with getting a girlfriend, as ashamed as I am to admit it. But there's a pretty huge caveat to all of this.

"I have no issue with ending the rivalry, you've done so much that I need to repay you anyway. But it would be impossible since the moment Itachi or Naruto senses that I'm not Sasuke I'm dead, the only other alternative would paint me in an incredibly bad light." With Naruto I'd be in a bad spot but if I'm lucky he won't kill the guy inside of Sasuke since that'd be killing the body of his best friend. Itachi on the other hand is completely different. He mind raped his brother twice, perfectly willing to brainwash him to serve Konoha, and put him through so much trauma in the name of fucking love. What do you think he's gonna do to the guy who stole his brother's body, especially if he thinks I'm Orochimaru. Absolutely fucked is what I'm gonna be.

And even if I can somehow fool Itachi and Naruto into believing that I am indeed the one true Sasuke that still wouldn't work for one main reason, Chakra. Chakra is physical and spiritual energy, and while I have the physical part down, anyone familiar with his chakra would notice something was off.

A fact this seems to even make the Sage pause.

"Hmm. Yes, I can see how quickly this can backfire. My only solution would be to gift you some of my chakra, it is the closest we have to fit Indra's own. It won't perfectly match but it should be so far away from Orochimaru's that the only other logical option would be Sasuke."

And that takes a huge load off my shoulders.

"I'm glad to see that it relieves you. I was going to do so anyway, especially given that Sasuke's eyes have gone blind by being used up to burn Orochimaru's soul. It wouldn't be fair to toss you into the world of Shinobi while blind now."

"Does that mean I get the Rinnegan as well? I hate to overstep my bounds but-"

"You have no need to worry about doing such a thing. Everything I am doing here is to help you succeed in life, especially since you'll be playing a pivotal part in saving the world."

"Thank you Hagoromo, sir. I cannot express to you how grateful I am for what you've done to me. Had I been speaking to any other fitting your status I fear I may not have received as much help as you have given me."

"There is no need for such praise. As I said, you are not the only one who benefits from my help. Do not forget that by helping you there may be a chance to free my sons from their centuries of feuding."

Nonetheless, I still bow to him. Had this been almost any other ROB I wouldn't be even a fifth this lucky unless I got a Gamer power. Free Rinnegan is almost as good though.

"Now that we have finished our talk it is time that I send you to the body of Sasuke Uchiha. Before I do so is there anything else you may need of me, for if you do afterward I cannot speak to you until my chakra recovers."

Alright then, last chance to get something. I already have full sight via EMS, a Rinnegan I can turn on and off, plus six paths chakra. What else could I need to help me out?

"Is it possible that you could help me in regards to Itachi Uchiha?" He nods, accepting the question. "First thing I ask is for a way to cure his sickness. The second thing is a way to grant him the Eternal Mangekyou without losing my eyes. Despite what he has done he still has light in him, and he will be extremely helpful."

"Why yes, I can do option two. However such things will take even more chakra from me to do so. I will have to impart it to create a new Mangekyou for him. As for his illness that is something that only someone with proper medical skills can do. I can't do so as I am not physical, the only reason you are getting those spare eyes is that they were made completely out of chakra."

"That's fine, I'll just get Tsunade to heal him. As for the Sharingan, I'd like to add some limits to it."

"Such as?"

"The only abilities those eyes will have is a reverse Kotoamatsukami. And that applies to Izanagi and Izanami. But it tells the user all the things that a normal Sharingan does" This is just in case Obito, Danzo, or some other asshole steal these eyes from me before I get them to Itachi.

"Unfortunately I cannot recreate the effects of a Mangekyou Sharingan, that would require me to have a physical copy and Shisui's chakra to do so."

Damn, guess that means no brainwashing the antagonists.

"In that case just make them the same as requested but replace Kotoamatsukami with shutting down the user's bodily functions as unnoticeable as possible." I was gonna say blow them up but I doubt Hagoromo would take too kindly to that, best to go for a painless takedown.

"Once again I thank you for the help. I believe this will be all I need from you."

"Very well, goodbye Planeswalker. Good luck on your journey. And a word of warning, you must give the body time to adjust to your chakra. The physical remains the same yet the spiritual is different. I recommend that you use only the most basic of chakra until your body can handle it."

And with that, I disappeared in a blinding light.

Wait where's the light? Or the disappearing thing?

"Looks like I'll have to do this the old fashioned way."

"Hold up, what do you me- wait a sec!-"

He then proceeded to grab my very soul, spin me a bit, and throw me in a scene reminiscent of BT throwing Cooper to only God knows where.

By the time I registered what was happening I was already out.

That son of a bitch!

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Once I finally regained consciousness the first thing that took my notice was the ache I'm feeling in my everything. The pain was pretty bad but thankfully something took my mind off it, the smell. Like holy shit why does it smell like rotting animals?

squish

A quick look at the floor answered that question. Turns out I stepped in the remains of Orochimaru's snake form thing. Ew ew ew ew! The worst part was that I had sandals on so I can feel this shit on my toes, all slimy and squishy and shit. Even while dead that fucker makes me disgusted. Yuck.

Whatever, my main priority should be getting the hell out of here. This was one of Orochimaru's hideouts and it's sure to be full of nasty shit, said shit likely to break free once they realize that the boss ain't around. Although that does raise the question, how the hell am I getting outta here. My best bet would be to threaten someone into doing so but I really do not want to get into a fight, especially not when I just got this body.

Sure the Rinnegan would trivialize anything this place has to offer but that thing drains a lot of chakra that I can't use right now and would get a lot of the wrong attention. And no amount of Itachi looking out for his brother will stop Pain, Obito, or Zetsu from dealing with a threat to their plans.

Oh, and speaking of threats to plans, there's Kabuto.

Hold up, I don't see grey hair near the door. What happened to Kabuto?

—-

A conversation was being held at the ramen place Naruto liked so much. Right now he was finishing up his story of how his trip to find the new Hokage went.

"And you know that Kabuto guy from the Chunin Exams right, turns out he was with Snake face the whole time!" Naruto said continuing a story he was telling. A nod of the head was Sasuke's reply.

"So I catch him beating on Granny Tsunade and I step in cuz I'm awesome like that. He got a few hits in, I'll admit it, and said some crap about dreams or whatever. Then while he's distracted I hit 'em with the Rasengan that I mastered, the same Jutsu that the Fourth Hokage used! You should've seen his face! …and the mess." Naruto excitedly said before it died off when he remembered this Rasengan jutsu's aftermath.

'I hadn't seen him get so somber since Wave.' He thought.

"Didn't Tsunade rant about you almost throwing up on her, and then I quote, 'using your face as a mop'" The Toad Sannin butt in adding a part of the story Naruto left out.

A chuckle escaped his lips with the thought of his teammate in such a position. Said action got the attention of Naruto and Jiraiya as this was the first time they heard him chuckle today.

The laughter of his Sensei and his rival seemed to tic Naruto off even further. First he turned to Jiraiya. "I said I was sorry, jeez! She didn't need to say something so gross." Then he turned his head in my direction. "And you shouldn't be laughing at me! When I become Hokage I'll make you the janitor of my office, believe it!"

Before Sasuke could reply and possibly set off an argument Jiraiya interrupted with his comment. "Kid you're lucky! The things I'd do to get Tsunade to use me like a mop, you don't even want to know!" The suddenly perverted old man said with a lecherous giggle.

'He was right, I don't want to know. What was with Konoha and having its strong shinobi being so perverted or so strange?'

"I think I heard Sakura calling for me, I'll see you later Naruto." He decided he had enough of this conversation and left to do something better with his time.

"Sasuke don't leave me with him!" Naruto cried over whatever nonsense the Toad Sage was shamelessly speaking.

'Heh. This is what you get for thinking you could make a janitor out of me Naruto.' With that he made his way to the Uchiha compound to get some training in and improve his Chidori.

—-

Huh. So the Rasengan actually kills people.

Well shit.


	2. Chapter 2

Huh. So the Rasengan kills people. 

Well shit.

——-

Ok, I’m now Sasuke Uchiha. But rather than waking up in regular Naruto, I’ve woken up in a world where Rasengans kill people. 

By that logic that would mean fire kills people. And Sasuke was pretty good with fire. Especially with Amaterasu, the fire Jutsu that activates on sight. 

Ok, this doesn’t sound so bad anymore. Considering that at this point Sasuke was above a good majority of common ninjas that Amaterasu should take care of them provided they weren’t too fast. Plus I had an eternal Mangekyou so that means I could spam it as much as Obito does and not worry about going blind. 

Plus I had the fucking Rinnegan now, only the top tier ninjas could kill me. 

*slap*

No! Bad me! Don’t get overconfident. Yes, I had one of the most broken pairs of eyes but that doesn’t mean I’m no longer human. At this point, I don’t have enough chakra to properly use the Rinnegan and not get incapacitated. And I’m still vulnerable to poison and toxins, so Sasori or Chiyo could easily kill me. 

Now I just need to sit down and think. As the lack of Kabuto and my memory revealed, this world is not the same as canon. Kabuto is dead, that Dosu guy from the Chunin Exam is still alive and in Otogakure, and surprisingly that training trip Naruto went on wasn’t useless. 

At our last meeting, he was actually doing a far better job against Sasuke than in canon. Exploding shadow clones were a terrifying thing to deal with in Naruto's hands but luckily Orochimaru stopped anything nasty from going on. 

But the fact stands that if Naruto got stronger then that means that he and Jiraiya weren’t hindered by canon’s plot. Naruto actually matured and learned. I’m honestly thankful he still wanted to bring me back as a friend rather than treat me like the criminal Sasuke was. 

If I'm lucky then Naruto can get me back in the village in a state other than a body bag or stuck in Danzo's dungeon. 

So I have a place to go if all I wanted to do was get the hell outta here. Once there I could just spill the beans on Akatsuki and the other puppet masters, and then live a life of luxury that comes with running a clan. 

But I can't just do that. It'd be a dick move to just leave Suigetsu and the other prisoners here, let Jugo starve to death, or just leave Karin in prison. 

Then there's the brother of the year I gotta deal with. Hopefully, I can get him to cut it out with his shit and sick him on Obito. And while I'd like Kisame to help with that, I doubt it. As much as Kisame and Itachi were bros, I'm sure he's on Obito’s side until I can prove the Moon plan is full of shit. 

So my plan is getting team Taka together, cash in Orochimaru's head to Konoha and tell Jiraiya and Tsunade everything about Akatsuki, then bring Naruto and Sakura along to deal with Itachi, and once all of that is done then hopefully the world is saved and we won't have to deal with the Otsustski or whatever else Boruto has. 

Using Sasuke's memories I find where Suigetsu is being held. A room full of pods, this place was giving me some Star Wars vibes. 

"It's you. I knew you'd come." Suigetsu says in his pod. "You being here means you killed Orochimaru."

"Absolutely wrong, Suigetsu." The Hozuki's face turns from a grin to a look of shock. "I completely erased Orochimaru so thoroughly that not even his curse marks can bring him back."

"Tch. Did you need to say it like that? You nearly gave me a heart attack!"

"Yes. The look on your face was rather amusing." I said with a smirk. "But enough of that, let's get you outta here." Despite me never holding a sword before my body pulled it out and slashed as if I was just cutting butter. Good to see that I wouldn't have to relearn all of these reflexes. And like a dramatic swordsman, the water only came forth after I sheaved my sword. 

As the water drains it’s revealed that Suigetsu is no longer there. And that means he’s on the floor.

“At free at last. Thank you, Sasuke.”

“No problem. Now as a favor for freeing me I have something I’d like to ask.”

“Oh sure, what is it?”

To that, I simply motion for him to follow me. As we walked to the room I first woke up in this world Suigetsu quickly took notice of the body on the floor. 

“I always knew the guy was a freak but this is just something else. Now, what was that favor you were talking about.”

“That favor is you sealing the body up.” 

“What. Any reason why you can’t do it.”

“I figured that since I stole the kill from you that you’d want to do something to the body, mock him while he’s unable to do anything about it. Afterward, you seal the body and I’ll bring it into a bounty station, Orochimaru’s head has to be worth millions, especially from Konoha.” I say, hiding the real reason why I don’t just do it myself. Firstly I really don’t want to touch that mess on the floor and get infected with whatever diseases Orochimaru carries. Yeah, I know Chidori means my hand is going into guts but I’d prefer to deal with that later. And secondly and the main reason being that I’m not fucking around with seals, even one as simple as storage scrolls. 

“Fine, but that makes us even for you letting me out of the tank. I’m free of that prison at last, and that means I’m free to go do whatever I wanna do.”

“But first we’re gonna have to talk about what we do now.” And here’s the moment where Suigetsu does his intimidation thing with his finger on my head. I like most normal people would be freaking the hell out if they had a gun to their head but I wasn’t normal anymore, I was a person who had many ways to escape this situation. 

“It’s pretty simple. I’d like you to come along with me, you help me out and I help you. But if you feel like you’d rather not then I’m not going to force anything. But could you please go get some clothes, I’d rather not have another man so close to me.” I don’t have plot armor or are in a state to get into a fight, best to let Suigetsu choose what he wants to do. And he was uncomfortably close.

“Huh. Well, I was kidding with that so don’t take it too personally. Now I’m gonna go find some clothes that aren’t contaminated from whatever stuff Orochimaru’s been doing in here.” He lets go of me with a pat on the back and heads off to find some clothes. 

“Don’t take too long, I’m planning on burning this place. Making sure that nothing in here comes back to bite me in the ass.”

A distant “yeah” lets me know that I was heard. I turn to the monster parts of Orochimaru that we left on the floor. Sure I had confirmation from the Sage himself that Orochimaru wouldn’t be a problem at all but there’s nothing stopping someone from injecting the remains ala Kabuto, and there’s no fucking way I’m having a repeat of that. 

But I can’t just throw around jutsu that I haven’t done before. Yes, the body has the memory but it’s better safe than sorry. I close my eyes to concentrate on my chakra, something very easy to notice since it’s a feeling I’ve never had before. I then slowly perform the necessary hand signs. 

Horse, serpent, ram, monkey, boar, horse, and finally tiger. I bring my hands to my mouth and blow fire from my mouth onto the corpse and the rest of the room setting them on fire. 

Holy shit! I just did a Jutsu! Rather basic in this world yes I know. But as a person from a world where shit like this was only possible in fairy tales? It was so fucking cool! I doubt I’d get used to this but I shouldn’t be geeking out in the middle of a burning room, best to geek out later where none can hear me squealing. 

With that, I make my way out of the burning hideout. 

And now I’m just waiting for Suigetsu. I doubt that a ninja of water like Suigetsu would have any issues with a fire so it’s very unlikely he dies here. So he’ll either come along with me to get Zabuza’s sword and help assemble Taka or he’ll go get the sword alone. I hope he comes with me though, it’s better not to be alone in a new and dangerous world where almost everyone is out to get you. 

However, my worries are quickly swept aside as I take note of a puddle of water on the ground as soon as it appears. Glad to see that this body’s reflexes are still sharp. 

“I forgot to ask you. It was your squad, wasn’t it? You were the ones who brought down my predecessor Zabuza Momochi. So tell me, whatever happened to his sword Kubikiribocho.” Suigetsu asks as he splashes around still naked. 

I get a flashback to the first C-rank mission this world’s Sasuke did. When Haku came to pick up Zabuza he put him in a storage scroll and left. After that canon played out the same, the sword still ended up as Zabuza’s grave. Sakura later asked why we didn’t take the sword, Kakashi’s reply was basically ‘so we don’t start an incident with Kiri’

“What, cat got your tongue? Come on I’ll make you a deal. You tell me where the blade is and once I get my hands on it, I’ll agree to join you on whatever you’re doing.”

“Sure. But seriously, get some clothes. I don't even care if you have to use a Henge, you can’t go around naked like that. It’ll get unwanted attention.” And it might give off the wrong idea to any girl I’d be interested in and Naruto, he’d be a great bro but just a bro.

“Alright alright. Although I’m sure we’ll still be getting that considering who you’re talking to. But only if you know where the Executioner's Blade is.”

“It was left in Wave as a mark for Zabuza’s grave. But since it had been 4 years since I last saw it, it might be elsewhere. Zabuza was an infamous missing-nin and likely had enemies who’d like to take his sword.” This world was a strange mix of filler and manga canon, most of the filler and movies in part one did happen, and even some of part two but not all of it. Mecha Naruto was not a thing or at least a successful thing. So the sword could be where we left it or it could be with some Gato like a mob boss. 

“Then we’ll head to Wave and see.”

And head to Wave we did. Suigetsu was being himself along the way, pretty annoying but kind of fun too, like a murder happy Naruto minus the morals. 

We made it in a few hours by casually running, with our arms sticking out while somehow looking different from all those attempts in real life. 

Here it is, the Land of Waves! The mission that solidified Naruto’s ideals to what they are and finally got Kakashi to start training us seriously. Wait he did what. 

————

“Alright my cute little genin, I think that we all can agree that our mission to Wave was… a clusterfuck,” Kakashi said pretty bluntly. “Once I had a moment to think I reflected on the mission and how we almost died many times and how unprepared we were. And as your sensei, I’m sorry for failing you. Which is why starting now I’m going to take our training to the next level.”

‘Finally. Now I can learn something useful.’ Sasuke thought. 

“Finally! Now I can get a cool new Jutsu!” Naruto shouted in excitement. 

“Now I won’t be a burden anymore.” Sakura said in determination, ready for the challenge. 

“And starting now, said training is going to make you wish you all died in Wave by the time I’m done with you.”

“Pssh. How bad can you possibly be Kakashi Sensei, you’re too much of a bum to properly teach anything as bad as Wave. What’re you gonna do, show up late for 4 hours rather than 3?” Naruto mockingly said, not at all convinced of Kakashi's threat. 

Kakashi’s only reply was an eye smile. 

And the only reply Team 7 gave were groans as they were knocked out by ANBU Shinobi. 

————

Wow. Looked like Kakashi went ANBU captain on them, poor guys. But at least they handled the Chunin Exams better. Meaning that Naruto beat the shit out of Kiba and Neji on skill rather than a gag or the Kyuubi. And Sakura beat Ino rather easily and made it to the finals, sadly she went against some guy from Ame and lost. Turns out random no names can be actual threats too. 

But enough of a memory lane that I didn’t row through, I now had to cross it. Just as I was about to take my steps on the bridge, Suigetsu burst into laughter. 

I don’t get it. Yeah ‘The Great Naruto Bridge’ was a dumb name but it wasn’t that funny. Then Suigetsu started expressing his thoughts. 

“Who the hell thought of that name and where is he so I can give him a prize.”

Ok, it can’t be that good or bad, let’s take a look. 

What the fuck is this. 

————

“We must thank you ninja for saving our town from Gato. As a token of our appreciation, we will name the bridge after you all.” Tazuna said. 

“Hn. I don’t need my name on some bridge. And you will absolutely not take the ‘Sasuke and Sakura Forever Bridge’.”

“Thank you Tazuna but I don’t have any good names,” Sakura said bashfully since any name she gave might be rejected by Sasuke. 

“I’m flattered but I hold a rather  _ strong _ dislike of bridges and would prefer not to have one named after me. But if you’re naming books, ‘The Tale of Kakashi Hatake and His Cute Genin’ sounds nice.”

“Ooh ooh, I got one!” Naruto said, excited to give his idea. 

“Kid you’re the only one willing to give me a name, I’ll take whatever you’ve got.”

“Yes! But I want it to be a surprise! I’ll show it off once we leave.”

“Sure thing Naruto. I’ll call you over once we get started on the sign.”

Sasuke simply left not caring about the bridge other than the fact that it was completed. 

A Week Later

“Sakura-chan, Kakashi sensei, and Sasuke, I present to you all!” Naruto shouted as he had the attention of his team on him. He paused to let a drum finish. 

“Get on with it you loser. I don’t have all day to wait for this.” Sasuke said, rather annoyed with Naruto’s theatrics. 

“Oh calm down Sasuke, I think you’re going to have a strong opinion on the sign.” Kakashi said. 

“The newly and fully completed,” Naruto said and then pulled down the tarp revealing the name. “The Super Kami 5th Hokage Naruto Uzumaki, Way Better Than That Bastard Sasuke Bridge!”

“There were many things I expected Naruto to name this bridge. This. This was somehow not one of them. It’s a lot shorter than I expected.” The Copy Ninja said, quite dumbstruck at the name but at the same time not even trying to hide how amused he was. “You truly are a hyperactive knucklehead mcspazatron.”

“Naruto! You can’t just use the bridge to insult Sasuke like that you idiot!” Sakura yelled, outraged at the insult to her crush. “Don’t worry Sasuke, there’s no way that they’d actually keep a name as long as that.” She added in an attempt to comfort her teammate. Unfortunately said teammate could only see red. 

“Naruto you dead last idiot I’m going to beat the shit out of you!!”

———

And much like Kakashi that day Suigetsu had a good laugh. So did I honestly. Mostly at the memories of the event, no matter how much Sasuke’s brain was telling me that it wasn’t, as Sasuke tried to beat a laughing Naruto to death. Of course he was held back by Kakashi, unfortunately for Naruto that didn’t stop Sakura from doing the job for Sasuke. 

“So you  _ do  _ have a sense of humor. Never knew you were into self-deprecating with how stuck up you can be.”

“I do have one, I recall a heart attack I gave you the last time I showed it off.”

“Yeah but that wasn’t funny.”

“You’re just saying that because the joke was on you, I’m sure Karin would find it funny. But I got something even funnier.” I say as I walk to the sign itself. 

I pick up one leg and with a good amount of effort lift it out of the ground. 

“Sasuke what the hell are you doing?” Suigetsu asked, confused by my actions. 

“Go get the other leg and help me turn this thing around.”

“.....ok” Suigetsu says, still confused but willing to help. 

Once he lifts the other leg out of the ground and we switch the sign over is when I execute my delightfully devilish plan. 

Making my open name for the bridge. With a monkey hand sign my hand becomes covered in lightning. I carefully write out my new name while being careful not to pierce the sign or mess my hand up. After 2 minutes my work is done. 

“The Virgin Naruto, Useless Sakura, Heartbreaker Kakashi, and Uchiha El33t Sasuke Bridge.”

What better insults to  steal use than stale memes and fanon. Although it is in Japanese rather than English so that made it rather annoying to write out. 

“I’m sorry but last I checked, the word elite had no 3’s in it. Why the hell are there two 3’s?”

“Because I’m an Uchiha Eleet and can spell however the hell I feel like it.”

“More like u not no how to spell.”

“Like you they taught you how to spell words other than ‘bloody’, ‘mist’, and ‘seven swords’ in Kiri.”

“A blade can speak far more than a pen and paper. And murder is all I need to speak.”

“Ring, ring. What’s this? Fuinjutsu just called, they want the Seven Swords of the Mist back. Especially the one that’s just a bunch of exploding tags on a stick.”

“A bunch of exploding tags on a stick?! As soon as I get all Seven Swords, I’ll show you how far above any fuinjutsu they can be! Besides, that stuff didn’t stop the Uzumaki from getting wiped out by Kiri and the Seven Swords now did it?”

Had Kushina or any other Uzumaki still been alive or present words could not describe how fucked Suigetsu would be. But rather than tell him that I’ll just say this. 

“If you can name a sword that would successfully summon the Shinigami itself to seal away the Nine-Tailed Fox, then I’ll happily eat my eyeballs and call Itachi oni-chan.”

“Samehada could-“

“I said,  _ would,  _ as in no question about it.”

“What does it matter to you anyway. Last I check you’re no Senju or Uzumaki so you shouldn’t be trying to be a white knight for something you don’t specialize in.”

“Just pointing out how strange you Kiri folk are by obsessing over a bunch of sticks vaguely related to a sword. But enough of this, let’s go get the actual sword before we get sidetracked again.”

  
  
  
  
  


**Omake** :

A pair of men in a cloak of clouds were taking a stroll on a bridge. They just completed a mission recently and it was a nice day to go on a walk. 

“Hey Itachi, check out the sign.”

“What about it.”

“Oh right, I forgot. You can’t read very well Itachi. The sign reads, ‘The Super Kami 5th Hokage Naruto Uzumaki, Way Better Than That Bastard Sasuke Bridge’. I’m pretty sure that was the Kyuubi kid we were supposed to get. Kind of a dumb name though, way too long.”

“Kisame I couldn’t care less about the sign, now let’s move on. They have a sale on strawberry pocky and I am perfectly willing to do whatever it takes to satisfy my addiction.”

“Ok, but there’s also a note. It’s addressed to you.”

“What does it say?”

Kisame reads with his face scrunched in confusion. “I can’t actually read this. I think it’s in some sort of ink that only leaf nin can read. You’d have better luck than I would.” He hands the note to Itachi. 

Itachi tries reading the note at first but finds it as blank as Kisame said. Itachi then activated his Sharingan to improve his sight.  _ ‘I know about the Uchiha shoe. The roots are filled with snakes. The dead man you think is still dead, the black sheep still walks. Salad with ranch on half of it is  _ very _ bad for you. _

‘Either Sasuke has gone crazy or he’s really bad at leaving cryptic messages.’ Were Itachi’s thoughts once he finished reading the letter. But he gave it a thorough read one more time to memorize it and then burnt it. Just as Itachi was about to grasp the meaning of the note, a smell distracted his train of thought. 

‘I’ll think about this later. Right now I need to get to the store before they run out of strawberry pocky.’ And with that the duo left the bridge. It would be a couple of hours until Itachi’s brain finally figured out what Sasuke had meant in that note. 

‘Oh shit’

  
  
  
  
  


**(As it said this is just an omake I tossed in for fun. It isn’t canon to this fic, but a more serious version of this may happen in the future)**

**Author's Note:**

> (Just something I had in my head and wanted to write. Any feedback would be appreciated. A beta would be nice if anyone is interested.)


End file.
